I'll never be wealthy.

I've come to a rather serious realization. Unless the Lord brings a magical cloud over my house that rains 50 lb solid-gold eggs.......I am not going to be very wealthy by American standards. I just finished figuring out the last student loan due dates, totals, and monthly payments -- and total -- it adds up to be more than my rent and utilities combined. Seriously, I don't know how I am going to do it. I know that the whole 50 lb solid-gold egg idea was written as a joke, but I really and truly and honestly do not know how it is going to work. I am living fairly cheaply as it is. I'm not sure what else I can do.

There is a special woman, mentor in my life. She is someone I talk to frequently by phone, and doesn't have a lot in terms of worldly possessions. Her apartment is tiny, she lives simply and wisely, and money never seems to worry her. The only times I've heard her discuss money were times when she was sharing with me ways to save money (and let me tell you, she had some great ideas!) or times when God has provided an exact amount for a bill she needed. To note, she ALWAYS has food or coffee to offer her guests as well. I've never left her home hungry and I've never been able to finish the food that she has offered.

God, am I missing something?

I can't imagine what life would be like at this moment if I had a child to support, too. Whoa.

The question that I've asked myself and my dad over the last few days was simply -- "Why is it that some people live in ginormous houses, are able to put their children through experience private schools, keep them in style, go on family vacation,...while others wonder how they are going to pay the bill that is due in the next few days."

I know its not because God loves one person or family less than the other. Is it because God thinks one family will be more responsible with more funds than the other? I don't know. And that really doesn't help me solve my dilemma, but the fact is this: I love both of my jobs. My heart really is at the high school I work at. I also love my other teaching job. On the other side of the spectrum, I work with adult students who need help in their businesses and careers here in America. Oh God, please -- you know my needs. I am worried. I know that you have opened the door for both of these jobs and you've blessed me tremendously. Thank you, Father. Please help me to work hard and diligently so they see it. Please grant me favor in their eyes (bosses and colleagues at both jobs). Both of the jobs are barely keeping my head above water. I don't know what to do.

If you happened to read this post today because you chose to or maybe because you were browsing and sort of stumbled onto it, please say a prayer for me. Pray that my faith would not fail during this time. Paying off student loans = big time of faith...Pray that God would help me to develop good habits that will keep me to be faithful in paying them and not avoid them (pretending they don't exist). Also, if you have a few extra minutes, I'd love to hear about how God has provided for you over the years. Please feel free to share lessons you had to learn and how God helped you to learn them.

We're in this together, right God?

Little Woman

When you are growing up, people tell you one of three things: a) you will never be able to rewind the clock, so you better enjoy it while you can, b) you're skinny, you can handle another ice cream cone, c) when I was your age, we NEVER did...

Well, I've come to the point where I am no longer a child. I feel in some way as if I am facing an iced glass window, just waiting for the reflection of my younger self to suddenly appear and cackle in my face. I don't want to wish I was younger. I just want to relish in the now. God has redeemed my past, so there is no longer a reason to look back with sore eyes and a mournful heart. Yes, I sinned. Yes, I was far from God. But GOD. God came and opened my eyes -- He romanced me and showed me that He wasn't interested in me for the "righteous acts" that I could do to service His cause, but that He was interested in my heart, my hurt, and my healing. He wanted ME. And now, I serve Him because I love Him. I love Adoni. That's what I keep coming back to -- my altar of stones where God first met with me. Where He REALLY met with me and I REALLY saw Him.

Whenever I'm discouraged, I know its because I've taken my eyes off of Him and, of course, His love for me. When I walk on the path He has for me -- sometimes consisting of dark places and bushy areas, sometimes full of mossy carpets and foggy visages, sometimes quietly peaceful little walkways where His sunlight paints my walkway -- I see Him and I trust Him, regardless of what is going on.

I've struggled with pride this week. Pride because I want to do what I want to do. Pride because I think I know whats best. Pride because I want it the way I want it. Tonight, I realized in a conversation with my granny -- one of the most precious women of God that I know -- that the reason I was upset and have been stressed this week is because I have been struggling with God. Daily, I just came to reason -- and I don't know why I keep reverting back to this! -- that God just was showing me that teaching wasn't really what I was supposed to do or that He was letting me fail or fall on my face for no reason. No! He says in His word that we will have many troubles, but to take heart! Because He has overcome! THE WORLD! What?! Yep. My pain isn't His fault. He will not let anything come that I cannot handle with His help.

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." ~ John 16:33

No one tells you that when you become an adult that you may deal with loneliness as you wait for God's blessings to unfold. You are never told that you won't be perfect at your first job and that your first year of teaching is sometimes the pits (well, okay, so they tell you that in college -- but does that really count?). No one tells you that although you can buy what you want as an adult, that you don't really need to.

There is so much to learn. God is shaping me and making me a diligent woman. I may not be as mature as I should be -- as a responsible, adult-like woman, but I know that His spirit in me is my aid and advocate.

God, may I be the little woman you want me to be -- a shadow of your son, Jesus, and one that brings you glory.

I heard this song on the way home - through tears and rain -- which is a bad combination... Thankfully, God was watching out for me. It's by MERCY ME, called Bring the Rain.

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Why.

Why is it that I always seem to come back around to this spot? Why is it that when I come back around to this spot, nothing has changed?

ARG.

Why is it that some people just seem to be totally blessed and perfect and have everything figured out? Are they the ones truly chosen by God to "make it" ?

ARG.

Why can't I change? Why can't I change. Seriously. I see all of this junk inside of me, and I want to change. But, its like someone has dumped ten heavy 50 gallon sandbags into the shell of my being and I can't, don't move.

ARG.

Will I always be like this? Or will I be the person I could be? I heard a Switchfoot lyric tonight -- "Between the person you are and the person you could be" --- so, which one am I, God? If I'm not changing, then whats the point?

ARG.

Frustrated.
Confused.
Wish I could make sense of everything.
WHY.

Undone

Open up wide, swallow down deep
No spoon full of sugar could make it sweet
The cancer inside stealing my sleep
Night after night it keeps haunting me
The secrets I keep
Are tearing me up inside
I try to hide and then I wonder why

Why I’m still running when I know there’s no escaping

Come undone, surrender is stronger
I don’t need to be the hero tonight
We all want love we all want honor
Nobody wants to pay the asking price

Fall on my knees, fall on my pride
I’m tripping over all the times I’ve lied
I’m asking please, but I can see in your eyes
You don’t need tears for alibis
It’s true what they say
Love must be blind
It’s why You’re still standing by this sinner’s side

You’re still by my side when all the things I’ve done have left you bleeding

Chorus

I don’t think I can drive it home tonight
I don’t think I wanna be alone tonight

Chorus

Undone, FFH

My Name is Hope.

“Waiting is refusing to take over while refusing to give up. Waiting refuses self-rescue.”

“Hope waits. Hope is the refusal to demand heaven now.”

“Faith looks back to the past recalling God’s mighty works. Hope looks ahead remembering God’s coming reward.”

“In Christ, loss is never final. Christ’s resurrection is the first-fruit of every resurrection.”

“Faith understands that what can’t be cured, can be endured.”

“Crying out to God empties us so there is more room in us for God.”

“Faith does not demand the removal of suffering; faith desires endurance in suffering.”

“In suffering, God is not getting back at you; He is getting you back to Himself.”

“Faith is entrusting myself to God’s larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective.”

“Worship is wanting God more than wanting relief.”

“Worship is finding God even when you don’t find answers.”

“Worship is walking with God in the dark and having Him as the light of your soul.”

“Every problem is an opportunity to know God better, and our primary battle is to know God well.”

Satisfied with a scrap.

It's amazing that in our finite, human minds - in our limited imaginations - and in our wandering queries - that we could ever be satisfied with anything else than Jesus. It's amazing that we would be satisfied with table scraps as well. But many times, we strive and hunger and grasp with exasperation for that single table scrap. In reality, God is waiting for us to look to His face above the table so that He can give us a rich feast. This is what my artistic mind knows and my heart aches to understand.

My imaginations sometimes lead me to unlikely fabrications that my heart feeds off of -- often leading it like a sick puppy searching for something - even the tiniest drop of water - to dampen the driest tongue. Often times, I am guilty because it isn't His face at the table that I have sought-- it is the table scraps that others offer or a tiny nook under the table I can crawl into. Those are false places of fulfillment.

Earlier this summer, my roommate reminded me of an incredible scripture in Deuteronomy 28. I have so much potential in Jesus Christ and I often forget it - my heart falls back onto anxiety and hopelessness.

"¹If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. ² All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:

³ You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.

⁴ The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.

⁵ Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.

⁶ You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.

⁷ The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.

⁸ The LORD will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The LORD your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.

⁹ The LORD will establish you as his holy people, as he promised you on oath, if you keep the commands of the LORD your God and walk in his ways. ¹⁰ Then all the peoples on earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will fear you. ¹¹ The LORD will grant you abundant prosperity—in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground—in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you.

¹² The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. ¹³ The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. ¹⁴ Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them."

I was reminded once again that I am not the tail, I am the head. Now, redeemed by His blood, there is a place at the table just for me. Why do I contend for a place at eye level with my brother's and sister's kneecaps? Why do I settle for a place below the blessings and rights I have as a daughter of the King of Kings?

This past week has been a battle - one that I have not been very victorious in. Possibilities sometimes distract me from what is ultimately fulfilling -- Him, His presence, His truth, His Hope. My new identity in Him is HOPE, but I have to choose to live it out in Him. My own strength cannot do it. Why - when that imagining seemed so real - did I allow myself to be satisfied with it? I was satisfied with the table scrap - that brief glimmer of a condition that didn't even happen -- and was left when circumstances didn't work out the way I thought they would -- hungry and wanting. GOD - you are my true satisfaction. Why do I always look towards other things for peace? for hope? Why is it that this particular desire seems to always be on default and ready when another similar possibility comes up? And why do I act out of that default function instead of trusting you?

I felt like I trusted you, but now I see the true condition of my heart. I was able to surrender when I thought I'd get my way in the end. How shallow I am. I plead your blood to cover me. I need to surrender regardless of what I think the end results will be.

Attitude is Altitude

"Being patient is beautiful. I’ll tell you it’s the hardest thing. But I realized I may not have hands to hold my wife’s hand, but when the time comes, I’ll be able to hold her heart. I don't need hands to hold her heart."

http://www.multimedia-english.com/contenido/ficha/no-arms-no-legs-no-worries/2650

Your Mission, Should You Choose

I have relished in my job this week. Absolutely. I just love it. Yes, there are tough points and I'm still learning how to teach various parts of our language and how to handle various management elements in the classroom, but the most fulfilling thing is to know that I have helped bring awareness -- and that they get it! AHH, such a delight. As I've been thinking about this, a particular experience came to mind and it was almost like an action movie began to play out in my mind. I was given an assignment, and if I chose to accept that mission, the possible outcomes could be incredible.

There is a common practice at the Language Training Center: briefing. It's great. When you get a new student, you go to what is called a "briefing" -- where one of the head teachers tells you about the new student you've been assigned to including cultural background, their level of language proficiency, their language goals and focus, texts you can use, etc. This has become a part of the job that I love because each student is absolutely different, with their own unique abilities and learning focuses. When I go in for a briefing, I feel like I am being handed a mission -- I am briefed with the object, the obstacles, and specific tactics or weapons that I am to use. The headteachers are like my tactical-instructors, my espionage gurus. It was so cool this week to go to another briefing simply because of what I learned. I have never had an Indian student before - which I have anticipated greatly! - and to be let in on all the details of this student's academic and business language journey was just awesome.

Recently, as I was brainstorming- I looked online (HAHA) for some secret agent lingo to use in the crafting of this entry. Instead, I found this really cute game-website called, "Who Wants To Be a Secret Agent?" Before entering the game, of course, they had to tell you what you were getting yourself into:

"For any nation or society with enemies there is no substitute for reliable intelligence and covert operations. Espionage is a dangerous business that cannot be conducted from afar. One must get those proverbial hands dirty. This is where the Secret Agent gets involved. When you enjoy a comfortable and predictable life, spies leave their friends, families and native cultures often for very long periods of time. They endure hardship and danger to adapt, observe, and conduct perilous missions. Secret Agents must have expert knowledge of their enemy."

As I read this kiddie-descriptor, I took a double-take of the last line. Secret Agents must have expert knowledge of their enemy. We have to know what we're looking for. We have to know who is looking for us. Our mission objectives, so to speak, as Christians, are simple: know the enemy, know the One you work for, and know YOUR objectives. What has God called us all to do? "To love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength; and to love your neighbor as yourself"

Mission Control, this is Agent MS2010. I have landed in the designated region and I'm ready for assignment. I choose to accept the mission.

Restless Until I Rest In You...

You dwell in the songs that we are singing
Rising to the Heavens, rising to Your heart, Your heart
Our praises filling up the spaces
In between and frailty and everything You are
You are the keeper of my heart

And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You,
'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless '
Til I rest in You,
'til I rest in You
Oh God, I wanna rest in You

Oh, speak now for my soul is listening
Say that You have saved me, whisper in the dark
'Cause I know You're more than my salvation
Without You I am hopeless, tell me who You are
You are the keeper of my heart,
You are the keeper of my heart

And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You,
'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You,
'til I rest in You
I wanna rest in You

Still my heart hold me close
Let me hear a still small voice
Let it grow, let it rise
Into a shout, into a cry
(Repeat again)

And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, let me rest in You
I'm restless, so restless '
Til I rest in You,
'til I rest in You
Oh God, I will rest in You

Please listen to the Audrey Assad version on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0B2ybZpDeM&ob=av2e

A Season of Waiting

Recently, in a facebook message to a friend, I spouted off with exasperation the words I knew I needed to articulate -- that angst that we feel as women -- that inherent annoyance with the inevitable condition we live with and know as waiting. This is how I feel. It's like I let my heart in on all the fun and then I find out that sadly, it has to hang up the jump rope after a while...that that stupid lie - "Nothing Good Lasts Forever" is chasing my heart, trying to join in on a game of double dutch.

As I plucked each character out from my keyboard, I remembered what my Grandma had told me in a recent phone conversation. "It seems that a girl waits her whole life -- a little girl waits to go to school, waits to get braces off, waits for summer camp, waits for someone to like her, waits for the homecoming dance, waits to graduate, to get a job, to date, to fall in love, to be married, to have kids, to help them live their lives, to have grand kids..." -- And then, she said - "that's probably not helping..." - to which I replied...as she knowingly chuckled..."Not really, Grandma."

.....AHHHH, its EXHAUSTING if you think about it that way (no offense, Grandma!). I realized, in the furious speed that my fingers were exercising at that very moment, that I just. needed. perspective. I began to look for hopeful scriptures that spoke about waiting - so I could at least adopt one and join with the other saintly women who had waited their whole lives, too, looking upward. You know what I found out? You know what the secret to their waiting was? His Truth. His presence. Daily bread provided by HIM. Man, I let it become so complicated. God wants to give us what we desire - I truly believe that. And for the things that we want that aren't in His plans, He gives us peace for if we seek it. Ahh, I have found such peace in calling him Papa this year. He really is my Papa. Papa, do you see me? Do you hear me? I'm doing my best to please you. I work for you. I get up for you. Papa, please cloak me with your patience and a restful heart. God, I just want to be what you want me to be. You know my needs. I am fighting impatience. I am fighting those anxious feelings that say I must...Oh God, be the seal on my heart that holds me so tightly, so securely, so assuredly. I want to get lost in your presence.

Something To Chew On...

"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." ~Psalm 130:5
"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." ~Romans 8:25
"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." ~Psalm 27:14
"I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." ~Lamentations 3:24
"Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed." ~1 Cor. 1:7
"Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life." ~Jude 1:21
"In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." ~Psalm 5:3

Psalm 106: 12-15

¹² "Then they believed his promises
and sang his praise.

¹³ But they soon forgot what he had done
and did not wait for his counsel.

¹⁴ In the desert they gave in to their craving;
in the wasteland they put God to the test.

¹⁵ So he gave them what they asked for,
but sent a wasting disease upon them."

101st Post

Since I missed the big 1-0-0, I decided to celebrate my 101st Blog Post. Yay!! Haha, actually, I have kind of a serious post. Just some thoughts out of the plethora that swarm around my mind...

Here is a song called Run, by Addison Road. Its a song I just heard -- literally listening to it right now -- and the words are EXACTLY what I have needed to hear this week and especially the past few days. We are in a battle, I've been told. But so many times I find myself looking down at my weary, sweat-drenched body -- wounded, slashed by the enemy's fiery arrows -- wondering how I ever got to this point -- without armor. Sadly, I look down at myself and at first, I am like a deer blinded by headlights. What? You mean, that's why I'm depressed? That's why I can't seem to see the truth in this fog? That's why I have forgotten the "Ebenezer" landmarks that God has allowed, taught me through and chosen me for in the tracks behind me? Oh God, how I desperately need you. I need you, yet I'm having a hard time finding you.

Run

Stoplights, breakdown, we cry, last try
Worlds collide, time to decide
Where you want to go in this great big world
Where you want to go in this great big world

Stuck here too long in this sad song
Lost on a street, everyone has
Vanished and you're all alone
But you don't know where to go
Yeah you're all alone
And you want to go home

(CHORUS)
Run just as fast as you can
Run, 'til you reach the end
Where the fallen finally land
And your world starts over again
Run

Next page, new day, finding my way
Stumble upon the strength to move on
I am not alone in this great big world
And you are not alone in this great big world

(CHORUS)
Run just as fast as you can
Run, 'til you reach the end
Where the fallen finally land
And your world starts over again
Run

Run now don't you look back
Run towards the light straight ahead
Where the lost souls make a beautiful sound
And new life is finally found
Run

Your free, free falling
A new beginning
This is our time

(CHORUS)
Run just as fast as you can
Run, 'til you reach the end
Where the fallen finally land
And your world starts over again

Run now don't you look back
Run towards the light straight ahead
Where the lost souls make a beautiful sound
And new life is finally found
Run

Ephesians 6:10-20 (New International Version)

The Armor of God

¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

¹⁹Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

STRUGGLE to be Set Apart

I have always struggled with my quiet time. Mostly because I haven't disciplined myself long enough to see it sustained. I will be going great for a little while and then one day I forget, or I try to read it and it doesn't make sense or seem to resonate, or I reach the stage of little compromises. "I'll do it before going to bed" -- and I know that I'm exhausted before I go to bed -- why would I try to work my brain that late?? Some people can do it - I can only do it and get something from it if I read something earlier and have chosen to walk in His Spirit that day. If not, it becomes so easy to not read it.

What do you do to coach yourself when you're realizing you're missing the mark? Specifically, with Bible Study and Prayer? What do you do to speak encouragement and motivation back into your mind and heart? What do you do? It's not about that invisible "check mark" you get when you're finished, its about spending time with God and connecting with Him. How do you prepare your mind and heart to spend time with him?

God's Sense of Humor In Me...

There have been many adjustments since I graduated college in December. Some easier than others, some harder than expected. I'd like to share a funny illustration of God's grace in the midst of these life changes. Lately, the adjustments have been getting used to living alone and learning how to use my free time in constructive ways. Now, I know that there are some mothers out there that would sell both of their legs for the free time I have. So when I think about this, part of me senses a temptation to feel like this isn't important to God or that I'm just being a wimp. And granted, there are times that the little girl in me rises up and has SOMETHING to SAY. But, as I've been chatting with my dad and some close friends, I've realized that this is only temporary and that it is a legitimate struggle.

Yesterday, it was like one of my life gaskets blew. After work, I wearied myself to stop by a little shop that rests beside our office, a yarn shop. As I stepped inside, a cool breeze greeted me and I greeted the owner. Spinning wheels and looms were strategically placed in stations along the length of the building, while scanes, scanes, and more scanes hung from walls, spewed out of wicker baskets and spun upward onto backs of wooden work chairs. My fingers found cotton infancies stretched out by their spinning wheels in dozens of shades, ready to be made into something useful. I began to talk to the shop owner and pretty soon, she gave me a tour of her little fabric Eden. To me, it was a breath of fresh air amidst the stress I had just undergone at work. By the end of the tour, we began talking about things of life...life changes. I shared with her where I was at that very point and what I was learning, only to find that she, a Sister in Christ, shared the same mind and understood. By the end of our conversation, I was almost at the point of tears again, and quickly excused myself by telling her I would stop in more often. If I would have been blunt, the words "I am lonely" would have been blurted out, but thankfully, God helped me to pull my heart down out of my mouth and put it back in my chest.

Until...

the drive home.

I bawled.

The radio crooned songs that I needed to hear.

That was just like God to do.

To comfort His daughter.

That evening, I called my dad and between rain showers, stepped onto my back porch and sat in a dry spot. "Mary, this is only temporary. It won't last forever. Draw near to God. Read the psalms" -- and as he continued to coach, encourage and just love on me, my eyes were suddenly drawn to a mosquito that landed on my flip flop-- AN INSECT WHICH I COMPLETELY LOATH. Drawing my foot out slightly, I took my other flip flop and right before it's death sentence was to be carried out, I had the FUNNIEST thought. "Now you're not alone! See, I know your needs" -- which must have been God's Humor coming out in me. I almost burst out laughing while my dad was leading our serious discussion.

It died anyway.

Hehe.

Just as God used Isaiah 61 to restore and call me to His great things, I've realized again this morning that these verses were what Jesus was to do. He is clothing me with a garment of praise, just as He said He would. Praise God for His Humor! No more heaviness! Shake it off! Praise Him and Be glad! I share this same calling with My God.

“ To console those who mourn in Zion, to give

them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning,

the garment of praise

for [instead of a] the spirit of heaviness;

that they may be called trees of righteousness,

the planting of the LORD , that He may be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:3

I am the planting of the Lord. May He produce His Praise within me and the fruits of His Spirit!

Things pondered...

1. Favorite Instruments -- Violin (love the violin!), Mandolin, Irish Pan Flute, Harp

2. Lovely Music to relax to -- Celtic, Christian worship/hymns, Movie Scores

3. YUMMY Foreign food(s) -- at the moment...Indiana Rice Pudding, Chicken curry, Baklava...

4. Things to do on a rainy day -- enjoy the rain from inside with a cup of coffee, working on lesson plans or reading for pleasure, listening to relaxing music, baking with friends

5. Random goal for this year -- learn how to cook, well

6. I would love to...visit a movie set for a period film or BBC, interview the actors, watch them do their work

7. Concerts I would love to attend...Michael Buble, Casting Crowns, Celtic Woman, Meredith Andrews/ Brooke Fraser & Hillsong

8. Places to visit as a tourist (because I've been the student and the teacher overseas before)...all of the British Isles again, Italy, South Africa, & New Zealand/Australia

9. If I owned a shop beside the sea, it would be...a coffee/book/artists/hat shop with an open roof that you could visit with your cup of coffee and a journal or good book :)...a great relaxing place for fellowship

10. CRAZY hope for the future...ride in a hot air balloon or even drive (?) one!

11. If I could be a Fictional Character...ooh, boy...Jo from Little Women?

12. Goal(s) for the next few years...finish a complete IBS study on Romans, and find information on ESL Bible classes (how to start them, where, etc.)

New Places, New Transitions, New Prayers

Yesterday, May 1, I moved into my new house. I didn't realize how little I had brought with me when I moved to Indiana just because I wasn't sure how long I would stay or what God had in store. The biggest thing I have now is a beautiful, almost-new sleigh bed that I bought off of Craig's list for a fantastic deal! I hope that that was a wise decision. What if I move into a little apartment next and cannot fit the bed inside it? Oh, I hope that doesn't happen. There are so many things you don't think about when moving into a house. Trash cans. Bottle openers. Spices. Dishes. Night Stands. There are so many little things that I still need to get...

Moving in was a little weird. I was the only one to move myself in. My roommate and her fiance (a recent, exciting development) were at a wedding and I didn't have that much to move in anyway, but it was still weird to be the only one around. I know this is going to be a transition. I can feel it. The biggest thing that I've been thinking about lately is When am I going to finally feel settled? Don't get me wrong, I love to travel and explore and experience new things -- but I am, surprisingly, feeling this need to just settle, to find something stable and sure. I don't want to keep moving around from place to place. Now with my roommate engaged, who knows what will happen when we reach the end of the new lease in six months? God, you know all about this. I ask for peace. Help me to feel peace and rest about living here and what you have for my future. I think it would be easier if family weren't so far away. Even though I have two cousins here, I hardly ever see them -- maybe once every month? Sometimes it is longer.

Moving in was also odd because I've been sick for about a week now. I have a lot of congestion and pressure in my forehead and sinuses. When you have to haul heavy duffel bags upstairs and you have a raging headache or continual cough, that doesn't make for a smooth transition either. Being sick has really affected me this week. I missed a day and a half of work, a whole Saturday worth of classes -- and it seems like it is staying the same. I've been taking medicine, but it has been miserable in the process, just waiting to get better.

God, thank you for providing and leading the way. Thank you for helping me daily. Thank you for your presence. This week, I've been continually reminded that I need your grace and strength and presence. What is next for me, God? That is the exact question I asked you when I moved here a few months ago and was living with some friends from my church. And, faithful as you are, you answered incredibly! You lead and guided and made a way for me. So now, Lord, my prayer is -- What is next for me? I need community and friendship. I was not made to live alone. God, would you please fill me? Would you please provide for this need? Help me to remember that you created me with that go-getter personality that has spunk. Help me to not sulk, but to go and pursue life actively. Help me to share your good news and open the doors for the truth to be heard. As I've been thinking about my job at LTC as an ESL teacher, I've been catching myself thinking or waiting for an end point...like you would have in college with the end of a practicum. But, this is not practicum. This is the real deal, a professional position that I must uphold and do my best in. It feels weird. Someone asked me how long I would be there. I have no idea. I was thinking...for...? I have no idea. Again, I feel that longing for something stable. I want to know when I drive home and park my car that it is in my driveway, at my house, on my land - and that I want to be there, that there is community there and people that need me and I need them. Oh Lord, only you know what I am trying to articulate. I give this to you.

Until next time,
Mary

Exactly What I Needed...Egg-zactly

This past weekend, I had the privilege of staying with my music pastor's teenage daughter while they made a quick trip to Pennsylvania. I was super excited when they called me earlier in the week. I love these kinds of things. I love being able to spend time getting to know teens and seeing who God is to them. Well, lately I've been hearing about God's Humor...and the first night I stayed at their home, I experienced it first hand. Oh, me and my absent-mind. I forgot my contact case and solution. But, of course, I didn't realize this until I was exhausted and ready for bed. So I started to pray. And pray. And pray. At first I thought about filling plastic cups up with my eye drops that I had and covering them with plastic wrap. But then I wasn't sure if the amount of eye drop liquid I had would do the trick. I sat on the bed and prayed. God, I have to work tomorrow. If I sleep in my contacts, it will make life horrible at work tomorrow and I won't be as quick with management because I will be distracted. God, is there something that you can do? And suddenly, my eyes were drawn to a basket of plastic Easter eggs. Perfect! I jumped up and attended the basket, pawing over each of the eggs and trying to find two eggs that didn't have pre-cut holes in them. Finally I found two and just started singing praises between my chuckles. What a funny idea! And it worked!! So to God's credit, His brilliant mind and humorous way of getting me out of my own self-inflicted predicament solve my little issue. He knew EGG-zactly what I needed!

I've been finding more and more things to pray about as I've been making more changes recently, the big life changes. Signing a lease. Taking a completely different job slightly unrelated to my degree. Learning to communicate specifically what I'm thinking without assuming that others can read my mind. Trusting God for my needs, like a bed. Night stands. A Dresser. All these things and more, He will supply in His timing. His Holy Spirit has cautioned me to not make quick decisions without asking, and I've failed some of the tests. He knows my needs. It's been amazing to look back on the entries that He has inspired in this blog and see how He has come through and provided. With the big move this weekend, I feel like I am walking behind plate glass while the What-If spirit tries to whisper lies and get me worried and anxious about the move. I need Papa's Spirit. I need to just climb up on His lap. Why does it take so much for me to trust Him sometimes? It's crazy that I can have great experiences like my story about the Easter eggs above and then share that other parts of my life haven't found that resting place in His arms because I'm listening too closely to the opposing side and I'm not actively replacing those lies with truth. God, I need your grace and mercy in this.

Dear readers, I need your prayers and I need you to help me praise God with grateful hearts. He has done so much! I don't want to get stuck in the mire of self-pity or insecurity or anxiety. I want to keep walking forward with my head held in view of His face.

All His love,
Mary

Humorous Animals

I don't know what it is lately with Llamas that just plain crack me up!

"Hardy Har, get my best smile on right here"

Journey of Prayer...

Father,

Thank you so much that I can come to you on all occassions, with all types of prayers. This morning, my prayers are full of thanksgiving and giving you the concerns of my life. God, I think of my aunts and uncles and cousins whom you've provided for, lead and blessed. God, thank you for their testimonies. Their lives haven't been easy by any stretch, but you've given them peace. Thank you that your peace that passes all understanding accompanies us when we put our will in your hands, sacrificing our own ways. Thank you that when we turn to you, choosing your will, that you really do guide us and bless us.

Father, I've been thinking about that full-time teaching job that I've prayed about for a while now. God, I know that it will fall into my lap at the right time and that you will line up all of the circumstances. Help me to trust you during this time, show me exactly what steps of action I do need to take, and prepare me for that time when you are leading me to a classroom of my own. God, I keep getting excited, I keep seeing the need for mentors and teachers who are more than teachers, I keep thinking of fun activities for students to complete, I keep hearing conversations taking place after school with young girls who just need love and encouragement. I keep feeling that desire that you've placed there. At the same time, I see my weaknesses. But I know that those are all strengths in your eyes. Thank you for that, God! Thank you for how you've lead me.

And God, help me to not overlook my students at present now! At the Language Training Center, I encounter young and old students who all need you. God, they need your love and peace, but most importantly, they need your forgiveness. Please God, make me a living testimony - make me a vessel, a lighthouse, just something that will point them to you. Please help me to be intentional about sharing you with them. Why wouldn't I? You definitely didn't intend for me to be silent about what you've done for me. Please be with little *Rebecca, *Naiomi, *Samuel, *Anna, *Brigette, *Mr. Sidney, and *Max. And please bless my bosses. God, I know that some of them want to please you. For those that don't, please speak to their hearts through the love of their colleagues and the circumstances in their lives. God, thank you for them. Bless their leadership. Please help me to be a true blessing in their lives as well. Help me to be a diligent teacher. Thank you, God! You've provided wonderfully! I love my job there! It has been such a good transition for me.

God, I love you. Papa, I need you. Almighty Counselor, show me the way and I will follow.

Aren't His names powerful?

I ask all of this in Jesus name with faith. Amen.

And My God Shall Supply All of Your Needs...

On Sunday, I signed the lease for the house. Pictures will soon be posted, if you haven't seen them already on facebook. I am super excited, but also in prayer about a summer job. I stepped out in faith, truly feeling like this is what I am supposed to do, and today, I am waiting for a very important phone call from a potential employer. I may be nannying, which I am really hoping and praying for. The neat thing is that I would technically be employed by a daycare service and could put that on my resume as educational experience (and the parents have asked for me to do some morning instruction with their children). The only tilting point for this decision is whether or not I can stay long term. If it is God's will, then yes. If not, God knows my needs. I was offered a permanent subbing position next year, so who knows? This daycare job would actually pay more, with consistent hours. Please pray with me for God's will. Especially now that I have signed the lease and will be responsible for this house for at least the next six months...I know that God will never leave me without. I have felt Him say this to me personally. Please pray that I would honor God today with my trust.

Thank you!

Yoked and Right Beside You

I am so excited to share with all of you that I will be signing my very first lease on Sunday, April 18! I have never signed one, so initially I am a little nervous. It has been really awesome to see how God has showed me that this is what He wants. As I've been praying about this, God has been leading me to various devotionals, individuals, and verses. All have seemed to be pointing towards making that next big step to move out. It would be easy to stay with the family that I'm living with. However, the Lord has provided a little more and if you remember my IT JUST SO HAPPENS entries, it is evident that God has truly been a part of this.

Monday of this week, I prayed A LOT. It was so awesome. I hadn't fasted in a while (and please don't see this as me bragging -- God is SO good to me), but felt it was necessary because the decision is so important. It was great because as soon as I decided to fast for lunch that day, it was like God hightened my spirit to His spirit -- and before hunger or any other pain set in -- His spirit was already ministering to me! I felt like I was able to worship with more freedom and trust. Then, when I got to school, I spent my extra time with Him. I read several devotionals from Oswald Chambers (which I used to do a lot), and all of them had to do with trusting in Him, walking with Him, relying on His provision. It was AWESOME! I also want to share a picture that I got while I was reflecting over the devotionals. As I read, one of the scriptures had to do with casting your cares on Him and rolling your burdens onto Him. As I thought about doing that, I thought about God's yoke. His yoke is easy and burden is light. Then I saw in my mind's eye a yoke, like oxen would wear as they were plowing the field described in the Bible. I saw myself and Jesus yoked together and I felt like He was telling me a few things: We are in this together, I am walking right beside you. As you wait for an earthly Love, I am here - I'm all you really need and I am molding you to be equally yoked with me.

It was really neat to have that picture in my mind as I added up the pros and cons and tried to weight them out. God has been so faithful to miraculously provide for me! Thank you, Papa!

After the devotionals, I met a really awesome Art teacher that I was supposed to sub for. His meeting was on Friday, so I didn't need to be in his class for the block, but he invited me to stay. I saw that he had a Bible on one of the tables next to his desk. I told him that was great that he had it there and we ended up sitting on stools in the back of his room talking about God while his students worked on their illustrations. Two of the most influential things he shared in those moments were when he shared his testimony with me and the fact that sometimes we can focus on such minute prayers and requests -- when really God has so much more that He wants us to ask for. Half way through his testimony, my eyes got misty and he asked if I was okay. Haha. Yes, I am doing just great. I really needed to hear the words of his testimony, "So many people think that if you become a Christian, you have to give up so many things. In reality, it isn't what you give up, but what you gain!" -- hearing him at that point was so comforting.

And that was all before lunch!

Then lunch arrived and I settled into the driver's seat of my car with my juice and the book, Hinds' Feet on High Places, an allegory about a girl named Much-Afraid who goes with the Chief Shepherd to the High Places. I prayed and listened to the radio -- it was awesome how God accompanied me all day long before lunch. I expected that lunch time would be when I refocus and come to God, but God and I had already been together all day! It was wonderful.

My classes went really well for the rest of the day and when supper came, I was truly thankful for how God had been so faithful to me earlier that day. I called my parents after work and told them about my tentative plans. I wasn't sure how they would react even though they told me that moving would be healthy. When I first told dad about it a little over a month ago, he warned me to pray about it and not to rush into anything. I really appreciate him. What he said moved me to prayer. So, I called my parents and had them put me on speaker phone so everyone could hear my announcement (which was cool, too, because my older cousin, Bethany was there - and she and Val has been like the older sisters I never had. So it was really neat to have her there). My parents were excited for me and excited to see what God does with this.

After chatting with my parents, which went so well, I met my soon-to-be roommate at a local park and took a walk with her. That was really fun. I feel like I can really be myself around her. Praise God! We had a great time talking and getting to know each other more. God, please bless this friendship.

So, as I will be phasing into this chapter (Yay!), I am continuing to pray and give thanks for what God has done. A radio announcer asked in her prayer the other day that we would be careful to give Him praise for what He has done. Help me to be careful, Lord. This is you stepping in, being my Holy Husband, providing and protecting. God, you are so good to me. As I reflect back on last year's heartaches and trials with China, I can now see how you have used it and how much I needed to go through it. You have made Plan B look like Plan A -- who would've known? Who could've planned like that? It was so difficult, but you stepped in and defended me. I am not ashamed but thankful for what you allowed me to go through. Throughout the entirety of this past year, I have learned one of the most valuable lessons: that I really can trust you. God, I committ this next move into your hands. I committ my friendship with my soon-to-be roommate, my life and my decisions to you. I am relying on your grace and mercy. I cannot do anything without you and I don't want to! Please provide a long-term teaching job for me in your timing and help me to be diligent with the students you've given me now. I want to serve you and I know you are calling me to be a classroom teacher, K-12. God, I give that to you. It is in your timing and according to your plan.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him" (1 John 5:14-15).

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

"…The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" (James 5:16).

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" (Ephesians 6:18).

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express" (Romans 8:26).

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

"Have faith in God,' Jesus answered. 'I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, "Go, throw yourself into the sea," and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins'" (Mark 11:22-25).

I may be perhaps entering a new chapter of my life very soon. About a month ago, I posted some "IT JUST SO HAPPENS" entries which were circumstances that God had chosen to step in and show me His miraculous hand. Well, one of those very situations may be taking a turn that will change a lot of things for me. While I am praying about the situation, I am just hoping, hoping, hoping to make the right decision. It is a big step to move to a new place. Please be praying that I make the wisest decision. There are so many factors to consider, mostly with finances and where my career is headed.

Lord, I will move forward until you shut the door or show me which turn to take. God, I need your presence and direction. I want to be where you want me.

Forecast: Cloudy With a Guarentee of Hope

Forecast: Cloudy with a chance of hope

This past week, Passion Week, I read 1 Peter through twice and the thing that stuck out to me the most was this "living hope" that we are born into through faith. The Saturday before Palm Sunday, I went to this really cool Creative-Artists Worship time at the house of some of my friends and the theme was "Hope". Hope can be defined two ways: 1) something wished for, and 2) something counted on or believed in, as fact. One of my friends commented that for the world, hope is the first definition. They hope for a great car or kids or an amazing job. But as Christians, we need to operate out of the second definition.

The last two weeks have been rather rough. I've felt homesick and alone, without anyone to just know what is going on in my heart without saying a word. I don't mind sharing what is going on with others, but after a while, I get sick of talking. There is a hunger in my heart to just be understood. During this time, it has also been easy to confuse my spiritual needs with my desires. Because I feel homesick and alone, I confuse that at times with a desire to be married; and that is simply not what God has for me right now. So then, if I jump on the "I want a Husband" train and choose to focus my mind on that instead of Jesus, I open my mind to daydreaming and am quick to believe in satan's lies that because it hasn't happened, it won't ever happen, that I am ugly, that I would be a terrible wife, and all of those other lies that cause my soul unnecessary strife and anxiety. It becomes this massive twisted train track of emotions and lies -- that really have nothing to do with right now and my number one need: God and His presence. God desires for me to rest in Him. My mind knows that, but my heart needs to know it.

I love the area that I've moved to and the church community that God has allowed me to become a part of; but it has been hard not having someone on a daily basis to confide in and share companionship with. In college, it is amazing -- you are surrounded with hundreds of people your own age going through exactly what you are going through. My roommates and I were sisters. Even here, I have two cousins and a growing circle of friends -- but it isn't enough.

My Grandma said that God wants me to lean on Him, that He's prepared special things He wants me to do, and what I am learning now will be so important for later -- learning to be content with Jesus, only Jesus.

When I really think about it...I do have someone to confide in and share companionship. Duh, Christian. You have someone -- and not just any someone -- but Jesus to confide in. Oh, it sounds so cliche. That's because this is what we're told, what we hear -- What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear...I thought I already learned to confide in Him, but I guess I've been relying so much on others to fill me and help me lately that I've forgotten the true and lasting Source. I mean, I talk to God on a daily basis, but I don't always wait on Him or really spend time listening. According to His word, God already sees and knows me deeply. Even with a blessed church community, why do I always go to others? Dear readers, I confess I need your prayers. I want to go to God for my everything, not just when I need something. God hasn't done anything wrong; it's me. Mental picture: a woman beggard holding out an empty cup. No amount of anything else will do except Jesus.

As I reflect on where I am right now, I have this mental image of the sun. Last week we saw a lot of it! I even managed to get a sunburn on my spring break! In INDIANA! In April!! As I think about it, God is like the Sun and it's rays. The Sun and it's light are always there, but sometimes the weathering circumstances or my feelings can distract me from the Sun and the fact that it is my Source for life. I don't always see the Sun and feel it's warmth. The beauty of sunrays shooting through large puffy clouds never seems to change; it's like the sunrays have personality -- their efforts are always to shoot downward towards earth. Sometimes, a storm comes and it may be a few hours before daylight seems like reality again. This happens upon takeoff in a plane. You breeze through layers of clouds and sometimes thunderstorms, but on top of all of that -- you always have beautiful blue skies and clouds. A thunderstorm could be raging on beneath, but the perfect blue sky and Sun still remain. I have to remember the truth and the Source through these times. His truth and presence are ALWAYS there, regardless of the circumstances and what I may be feeling or experiencing. Jesus never promised that it would be easy -- whether it is me forgetting that He is my Source or trials coming my way. Just as there is a 40% chance of rain showers today, I have a 100% guarentee of His living Hope.

David went through this, too, "Why so downcast, Oh my Soul? Put your hope in God for I will yet praise Him". "I will YET" -- which means that I can anticipate God's hand in my life, which has been so evident already!

I haven't gotten all of this figured out yet and I need to spend time with him. I remember a card that my roommate put on my desk one time when we were in college. It said something like, "Bask in God's presence today like a cat in the sunlight, and don't be afraid to even get a little sunburnt!" Ha! What a thought!

Adventure Pics!

New Adventures!

So, these days I am endeavoring to learn new things, test the rapids, and ha!, I am learning to cook. Surprisingly, I did a decent job for my first gourmet meal! Cheese souffles, Italian bread, and Coconut pie -- all homemade! Even though I missed getting pictures of the process, here are a few snapshots I was able to get...


I am also endeavoring to explore the great state of Indiana now that the weather is AMAZING! And, going with friends is always the best! Here is a snapshot of Beth and I heading to Mounds State Park to do some hiking. (More pictures on the next post)

Inglesh iz ard too espeek!

I haven't really posted anything about the fantastic and wonderful world of English linguistics yet. As you may have noticed, I have found a few really fun linguistic websites and collected them on my side bar with the rest of my blogs. Here are a few funny pictures I found online. Enjoy!

Play sports or hobbits...I'm too tall, it wouldn't work for me...


AHHHH!!! They're EVERYWHERE!!


Uh....? Sully? Maybe for Sully in Monster's Inc.!


Treasure the use...need I say more?


Only on the digestive track.


Really?? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!


Oh...that does not look good...


Could you get my toenails while you're at it?


Yes, avoid gnashing head on rocks...


I have got to get me one of these!


How many times can we use different cases of 'smoke' in one sentence?



Do you mean, Thank you for coming??


And this is why I am an English teacher...


Yikes! Stay out of that park!


Finally! They have a place for them!! Food for all now!!


Yuck.

Do not despise small beginnings...

This past weekend, I battled to keep the lies out. Lies that said, "You mooch", "How could you live with them this long?", "You don't belong here" or "They don't enjoy having you here anymore" -- nothing but LIES from the enemy. It is evident in how great the relationships are, what God has done in both parties, and His peace in my heart that I am supposed to be with them. On Sunday night, I met with a friend who mentioned briefly the verse from Zechariah that I don't believe I've ever heard before (as a verse anyway!). I looked it up online and was blessed by its relevance for me during this time. Once I read it, I thought Accept His gifts and His provision. Trust that you are where He wants you. Look at all the things He has done for you, Mary! God has been so good to you! So here is the verse:

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin..." (Zechariah 4:10)

When I was looking up this verse, I found a precious blog that I would like to share with you. This blog is kept by a young mom who also found comfort in this verse from Zechariah. Feel free to take a look: http://www.noordinarymomentsblog.com/2008/04/do-not-despise-these-small-beginnings.html

"...for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin..." -- How powerful to know and believe that this time in my life is something that makes Him rejoice! He gets excited because the work I am doing is truly beginning! Even though the initial training is over (for college), there will be many lessons continuing in the School of God (as my Granny Fall would say). My 'small beginnings' have been varied: living with a couple from my church and renting out their daughter's old bedroom, substitute teaching, making good contacts & starting to network, having just enough money for bills & minor expenses (like gas, etc.)...the list goes on. On Sunday I finally burst, but Dad simply said -"just one day at a time." To know that God doesn't despise this time in my life -- that the meager tasks I am completing on a daily basis do have purpose and the people I am influencing as a sub need me in their lives for however short a time -- He doesn't despise in, but REJOICES in. I believe that He rejoices in his daughter as I faithfully take on each task with peace, not with a despairing heart, but choosing to trust that He will provide and guide. As they say (whoever 'they' are)--"You've gotta start somewhere, right?"

Lord, I want to have that quiet, trusting heart. To take on each duty, each day - and to give my best regardless of the type or level of each task. Lord, help me to rejoice with you in these small beginnings. And may I pray, like my friend did on Sunday night, that you would bless me so that I can bless others. Father, I want to be what you want me to be. Help me to not miss any moments you have for me -- moments to be obedient, moments to meditate on you and your truth, moments to be active and moments to wait. Help me to live today as you desire for me to live. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Help me to live in that freedom as I walk with you, obeying and trusting you. I ask all of these things in the name of Jesus. And Holy Spirit, for whatever I cannot aritculate through human words, groan for me, intercede for me, and please pour your grace on. I think of these students. Walking corpses, some of them are. Clothed in your Righteousness, some of them are. All, you love. All, you desire. Please help them to come to know you as their personal savior. Amen.


Ooo! P.S.~ Right before that verse, an angel says to Zechariah, "So he said to me, "This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty." -- So, only through God do these small beginnings have purpose and only through His Spirit can I walk with Him each day, accomplishing what He wants accomplished!