Monday, March 8, 2010

Hinds' Feet On High Places, #1

Finally! I have been wanting to blog for a few weeks now and catch everyone up! There is so much to share -- lessons I am learning in this new season of life, parallels I am seeing between an allegory I am reading for Sunday school and my real life, and of course, updates on my jobs! Praise God!

First I wanted to share with you the book I just began for a Sunday school class called Hinds' feet on High Places, written by Hannah Hurnard. This classical story is about a girl named Much-Afraid who lives in the Valley of Humiliation. I love allegories because what you get out of the text is not necessarily direct and exactly what the author meant or was thinking - but God can pull out and bring to our attention things that we need to learn that are specific to our personal life. Based on my frame of reference, events and attitudes and characters in the story can be perceived slightly different than other people might perceive them. God uses the art of analogies and metaphors all the time to teach and help us make valuable connections in every day life (which is, by the way, one of the reasons I love English so much). But anyways...

Initially, I was confused at the title of Hinds' Feet on High Places. What is that -- like hind feet on a dog? a deer? any four-legged creature? As I began reading, I started to understand. It comes from the book of Habakkuk 3:19. "The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me walk upon mine high places." Basically, the Chief Shepherd (who is God, of course), is described as a being who can bound the hills (like a deer) with great ease, plunging to the depths where the Valley of Humiliation is (where He tends his flocks) and calling to those individuals living there to come with Him to the High Places. The High Places from the book, are described by the Chief Shepherd as follows, "The High Places are the starting places for the journey down to the lowest place in the world. When you have hinds' feet and can go 'leaping on the mountains and skipping on the hills' [which He does], you will be able, as I am, to run down from the heights in gladdest self-giving and then go back up to the mountains again. You will be able to mount to the High Places swifter than eagles, for it is only up on the High Places of Love that anyone can receive the power to pour themselves down in an utter abandonment of self-giving."

So, just to make sure that you're still with me, Much-Afraid is going to go on this journey with the Shepherd and it will enable her to come back to the Valley of Humiliation. Is that all? Nah. The Valley of Humiliation is not exclusive to her. There, she lives among her family, the family of Fearings, who absolutely despise the Shepherd and his workers (those who have already joined Him in the High Places and are back now...I think). Once Much-Afraid meets the Shepherd and agrees to go to the High Places, He tells her to not tell anyone, for they would be very hostile. Just before she leaves for the High Places, her family is trying to get her to marry her cousin, Craven Fear. They keep her captive in her own house when they discover that she is going to leave. Thankfully, she has a friend, Mrs. Valiant, who comes bounding at Much-Afraid's cry for help. She shoos them away and I love the description of this character. "Mrs. Valiant, whose name described her exactly...was not the sort of person to be the least intimidated by what she called, "a pack of idle Fears." Thrusting her face right in through the window, she cried in a threatening voice. "Out of this house you go, this minute, every one of you. If you have not left in three seconds, I shall call the Chief Shepherd. This cottage belongs to him".

There is so much more that I could explain and share with you to catch you up, but I want to pause there because God gave me a very vivid picture of what these "idle fears" look like in my life. Bear with me -- I understand that this is a picture that God gave me personally, so it might not resonate with you personally that way it did with me.

I love the atmosphere of a cozy restaurant. Even more, I love that in places like these, along with coffee shops and book stores, you can combine a warm environment with comfort foods and couches, and great smelling coffee with laughter and friendship (yeah, that totally sounds like I'm writing a cheesy magazine article or something). That's kind of what I love about teaching and having your own classroom as well. You create this environment, unlike any of your other colleagues and in that space, you can foster growth and learning, friendship and mentoring, or just have fun with your students. So, anyways, back to the picture of the restaurant. When I read this portion of Mrs. Valiant coming because of these idle fears, I had this picture in my mind. It was kind of like I was a hostess for this cozy, corner-side restaurant. I can hear the music, I am welcoming guests in and serving them, and the atmosphere is not intense, but just relaxed (like on a Saturday). As guests come in, I am showing them to their seats and sharing how delighted I am that they are here. And I am! By this time in my picture, I am caught up in meeting people and bringing them their food, meeting their needs and getting to know them during the short time they are there. Suddenly, out of no where, I imagine a huge man of sorts with a pig belly that shifts from side to side as he walks towards me. He has a dirty meat knife in his hand and blood stains on a white kitchen apron and he tells me that it is my turn to go back to the meat locker and get something. I imagine we rotate these duties. Afraid, a cold sweat sweeps over my brow as I stand paralyzed at the thought of having to go to the meat locker - a freezer containing the dead carcases of animals whose meat we use for our restaurant. So I begin walking back to the locker, the distance from the front to the back - all of 12 feet -- seeming an eternity and dread. Finally, I reach the door and an overwhelming waft screams at me as I open the heavy door, along with a freezing chill that reaches my toes and then climbs up to my neck. Before me, half a dozen bodies hang from the ceiling, shifting slowly as new wind enters their quarters. I realize that I am terrified of these things. They are disgusting and revolting (in real life, I don't mind things like this). In order to complete my task, however, I must make my way untouched through the maze of heavy swinging bodies to the back of the locker to get something (whatever that may be). I make my way back and suddenly, the door closes. All I can see now is the bright red EXIT sign at the front of the meat locker, glaring on the already-crimson creatures. For a moment, I am paralyzed again and begin to panic. What if I can't get out? What if one of the bodies falls? What if I have to touch one? What if they aren't really dead? (Silly, I realize) What if? What if? What if? Then, after I've had my fill of what-ifs, I realize that all I have to do is find my way back to the EXIT and I can leave. The bodies of meat represent those idle fears in my life. They have NO POWER over me. They are held tightly at the top, unable to walk on their own. They have no REAL LIFE. They, themselves, are IDLE. Taking the EXIT is an act of FAITH and sometimes that is all we see! I have to remind myself that just below the EXIT sign, there is a door. Once I pass from that thresh hold, those fears do not follow me and once I am back in the restaurant, I forget they even exist. Don't let that butcher come and tell you what you need to do! Don't let him ask you to go there, where your idle fears are hanging!

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