A Date with God...

Valentine's day is quickly approaching and this year, as I envisioned the day, I saw it with those warm feelings that you get when you crawl up on a soft couch with a cup of joe or tea with a good book on a snowy, wintry day. Safe and warm. Restful and open for rejuvenation. With the joys of being single, one in particular that I am enjoying is my time. I thought: While everyone is enjoying their significant other and I am still waiting, why don't I spend it with the Most Faithful One that has never dumped me, dropped His confidence in Me or in His plans for Me? So yes, friends, I am planning a private retreat for God and I in celebration of true love for Valentine's Day. Yes, I have a Date with God.

So I began to browse various blogs for ideas, not really honing in on anything too specific, but finding an entire series of linked blogs that were beautifully decorated with Vintage and Renaissance Arts. I wish I could find a tea house to visit and rest at for the day. Antiques and classic pieces of pottery and stone were séanced by the chords of restful piano sonatas and blue French teacup patterns; Most of the blogs were created by older Christian women. I treasured the photos of book cases filled with classic literature, rare tea pots, floral arrangements, quotes by beloved authors like Jane Austen, and proverbs from a hundred tongues making known their divine wisdom. I was enchanted by playlists resplendent with a decadent collection of Four Seasons, Claire De Lune, and other adored classical composers. I searched the websites for clever photographs and encouraging scriptures; as I did, I noticed that after a while, I had only been collecting the scriptures that were fluffy or said something about God loving ME. I avoided all the scriptures that commanded or expected something of me. Why is that? Am I afraid of what God commands or expects of me? Am I trying to avoid it? Why would those women post scriptures like that? Then I thought some more. To these ladies, I'm sure that these scriptures weren’t casting heavy weights upon their hearts like they were for me, but to them, wings of freedom. Why do I avoid the responsibility of those verses? Or at least, why did I have a sudden sting of anxiety when seeing them again? It hadn't been too long since I had last seen them. After all, I am a Daughter of the Most High God. It is my duty and privilege to accompany Him in this Life by making Jesus visible for others. It is my job of giving the Word breath through my life, my life living in sweet surrender. Does this all sound churchy enough now?

I guess I just want to know why we avoid God. I'm sure I'm not the only one. It is more than conviction. I can't really put my finger on it. It's why we put off quiet time because of anxiety. Why we don’t attend special services at church or extra Bible studies or just be with God more. Please, don’t say time. Time’s a wasting. Time flies by. There isn’t enough time. I have tried making time.

I’ve heard it all and I’ve helped justify myself by using those comments. Why can’t we just bring ourselves to God? What are we afraid of? What am I afraid of?

Just some thoughts...