Tonight I write freely for my mind is numb from the day. Tomorrow I will have to write a speech and practice it, along with study for my test on monday. ERG. I should have finished it tonight. How frustrating it is when I don't keep myself on a schedule. Maybe I will just stay up and write it until I finish it. I want it to be good - and choosing just the right words is something with which to not be hasty. I am writing a persuasive speech about Compassion International and how we have got to get involved. Friday - our chapel speaker was from Compassion - and you must be thinking 'perfect timing' - I know right? Way to steal my fire. Actually - I prefer to look at it as the preparation for them. I hope to inspire them. I hope, I hope, I hope. Biblically, hope is defined as being 'anticipated expectation.' So while my mind is numb, marinating itself in writer's block and half asleep, I will at least attempt to finish my study guide and maybe begin my speech.
A comment that was said in chapel on friday went something like this [I am paraphrasing]: The righteousness you have isn't for you. It isn't something you keep for yourself by writing it in a journal while drinking designer coffee. If all you are giving is religion - you aren't giving much. We write the name of Jesus on everything...except people.
And I thought about that. I thought about how half of the time my problems come from my eyes being fixed on other things - other than Jesus. Sometimes - no the MAJORITY of the time - geesh - I just need to be honest! - the majority of the time - I am so selfish with my Jesus. I worry about my life and my dreams and my plans and my needs and my wants and my friends and my family and my significant other and my classes and my homework and my, my, my, my! It never stops! Will I ever be free of me? Will I ever finally get "out there" and do it? Do what I was born to do? Yes. By God's grace and protective hand, I will get out and do it.
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