Friday, May 28, 2010

God's Sense of Humor In Me...

There have been many adjustments since I graduated college in December. Some easier than others, some harder than expected. I'd like to share a funny illustration of God's grace in the midst of these life changes. Lately, the adjustments have been getting used to living alone and learning how to use my free time in constructive ways. Now, I know that there are some mothers out there that would sell both of their legs for the free time I have. So when I think about this, part of me senses a temptation to feel like this isn't important to God or that I'm just being a wimp. And granted, there are times that the little girl in me rises up and has SOMETHING to SAY. But, as I've been chatting with my dad and some close friends, I've realized that this is only temporary and that it is a legitimate struggle.

Yesterday, it was like one of my life gaskets blew. After work, I wearied myself to stop by a little shop that rests beside our office, a yarn shop. As I stepped inside, a cool breeze greeted me and I greeted the owner. Spinning wheels and looms were strategically placed in stations along the length of the building, while scanes, scanes, and more scanes hung from walls, spewed out of wicker baskets and spun upward onto backs of wooden work chairs. My fingers found cotton infancies stretched out by their spinning wheels in dozens of shades, ready to be made into something useful. I began to talk to the shop owner and pretty soon, she gave me a tour of her little fabric Eden. To me, it was a breath of fresh air amidst the stress I had just undergone at work. By the end of the tour, we began talking about things of life...life changes. I shared with her where I was at that very point and what I was learning, only to find that she, a Sister in Christ, shared the same mind and understood. By the end of our conversation, I was almost at the point of tears again, and quickly excused myself by telling her I would stop in more often. If I would have been blunt, the words "I am lonely" would have been blurted out, but thankfully, God helped me to pull my heart down out of my mouth and put it back in my chest.

Until...

the drive home.

I bawled.

The radio crooned songs that I needed to hear.

That was just like God to do.

To comfort His daughter.

That evening, I called my dad and between rain showers, stepped onto my back porch and sat in a dry spot. "Mary, this is only temporary. It won't last forever. Draw near to God. Read the psalms" -- and as he continued to coach, encourage and just love on me, my eyes were suddenly drawn to a mosquito that landed on my flip flop-- AN INSECT WHICH I COMPLETELY LOATH. Drawing my foot out slightly, I took my other flip flop and right before it's death sentence was to be carried out, I had the FUNNIEST thought. "Now you're not alone! See, I know your needs" -- which must have been God's Humor coming out in me. I almost burst out laughing while my dad was leading our serious discussion.

It died anyway.

Hehe.

Just as God used Isaiah 61 to restore and call me to His great things, I've realized again this morning that these verses were what Jesus was to do. He is clothing me with a garment of praise, just as He said He would. Praise God for His Humor! No more heaviness! Shake it off! Praise Him and Be glad! I share this same calling with My God.

“ To console those who mourn in Zion, to give

them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning,

the garment of praise

for [instead of a] the spirit of heaviness;

that they may be called trees of righteousness,

the planting of the LORD , that He may be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:3

I am the planting of the Lord. May He produce His Praise within me and the fruits of His Spirit!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Things pondered...

1. Favorite Instruments -- Violin (love the violin!), Mandolin, Irish Pan Flute, Harp

2. Lovely Music to relax to -- Celtic, Christian worship/hymns, Movie Scores

3. YUMMY Foreign food(s) -- at the moment...Indiana Rice Pudding, Chicken curry, Baklava...

4. Things to do on a rainy day -- enjoy the rain from inside with a cup of coffee, working on lesson plans or reading for pleasure, listening to relaxing music, baking with friends

5. Random goal for this year -- learn how to cook, well

6. I would love to...visit a movie set for a period film or BBC, interview the actors, watch them do their work

7. Concerts I would love to attend...Michael Buble, Casting Crowns, Celtic Woman, Meredith Andrews/ Brooke Fraser & Hillsong

8. Places to visit as a tourist (because I've been the student and the teacher overseas before)...all of the British Isles again, Italy, South Africa, & New Zealand/Australia

9. If I owned a shop beside the sea, it would be...a coffee/book/artists/hat shop with an open roof that you could visit with your cup of coffee and a journal or good book :)...a great relaxing place for fellowship

10. CRAZY hope for the future...ride in a hot air balloon or even drive (?) one!

11. If I could be a Fictional Character...ooh, boy...Jo from Little Women?

12. Goal(s) for the next few years...finish a complete IBS study on Romans, and find information on ESL Bible classes (how to start them, where, etc.)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

New Places, New Transitions, New Prayers

Yesterday, May 1, I moved into my new house. I didn't realize how little I had brought with me when I moved to Indiana just because I wasn't sure how long I would stay or what God had in store. The biggest thing I have now is a beautiful, almost-new sleigh bed that I bought off of Craig's list for a fantastic deal! I hope that that was a wise decision. What if I move into a little apartment next and cannot fit the bed inside it? Oh, I hope that doesn't happen. There are so many things you don't think about when moving into a house. Trash cans. Bottle openers. Spices. Dishes. Night Stands. There are so many little things that I still need to get...

Moving in was a little weird. I was the only one to move myself in. My roommate and her fiance (a recent, exciting development) were at a wedding and I didn't have that much to move in anyway, but it was still weird to be the only one around. I know this is going to be a transition. I can feel it. The biggest thing that I've been thinking about lately is When am I going to finally feel settled? Don't get me wrong, I love to travel and explore and experience new things -- but I am, surprisingly, feeling this need to just settle, to find something stable and sure. I don't want to keep moving around from place to place. Now with my roommate engaged, who knows what will happen when we reach the end of the new lease in six months? God, you know all about this. I ask for peace. Help me to feel peace and rest about living here and what you have for my future. I think it would be easier if family weren't so far away. Even though I have two cousins here, I hardly ever see them -- maybe once every month? Sometimes it is longer.

Moving in was also odd because I've been sick for about a week now. I have a lot of congestion and pressure in my forehead and sinuses. When you have to haul heavy duffel bags upstairs and you have a raging headache or continual cough, that doesn't make for a smooth transition either. Being sick has really affected me this week. I missed a day and a half of work, a whole Saturday worth of classes -- and it seems like it is staying the same. I've been taking medicine, but it has been miserable in the process, just waiting to get better.

God, thank you for providing and leading the way. Thank you for helping me daily. Thank you for your presence. This week, I've been continually reminded that I need your grace and strength and presence. What is next for me, God? That is the exact question I asked you when I moved here a few months ago and was living with some friends from my church. And, faithful as you are, you answered incredibly! You lead and guided and made a way for me. So now, Lord, my prayer is -- What is next for me? I need community and friendship. I was not made to live alone. God, would you please fill me? Would you please provide for this need? Help me to remember that you created me with that go-getter personality that has spunk. Help me to not sulk, but to go and pursue life actively. Help me to share your good news and open the doors for the truth to be heard. As I've been thinking about my job at LTC as an ESL teacher, I've been catching myself thinking or waiting for an end point...like you would have in college with the end of a practicum. But, this is not practicum. This is the real deal, a professional position that I must uphold and do my best in. It feels weird. Someone asked me how long I would be there. I have no idea. I was thinking...for...? I have no idea. Again, I feel that longing for something stable. I want to know when I drive home and park my car that it is in my driveway, at my house, on my land - and that I want to be there, that there is community there and people that need me and I need them. Oh Lord, only you know what I am trying to articulate. I give this to you.

Until next time,
Mary