My time spent in China was not at all what I had expected. I walked on the plane with stars in my eyes - and glided through the school building with a glossy dreamy look pasted on my face. I was in China -- how wonderful!, I thought.
HOWEVER, during the course of my time there, logistical details were likened to that of a box full of unruly electrical wires...And, I got shocked. My placement was switched due to professional issues...and upon my return to the States...the placement was not accepted as an authentic ESL classroom.
Devastation surfaced like hot lava. I had never been more disappointed or hurt than I was. The fabric of who I was seemed to split down the seams -- threads snapping and fish-tailing away. What was I to do? I was given two options: graduate and be blacklisted or repeat student teaching in the fall. YIKES. Ouch. Ahhhh, man. Really? Are you serious? ARG. You have got to be kidding. Are you serious? What?! Yes, the variety of emotions and exclamatory phrases raced through my mind like an unhinged vehicle whose wheels were about to roll off sending it fire-balling off a cliff.
I don't know how I made the decision. Well, yes I do. God had to have been speaking through me. I don't know how - but I finally made a decision and made the trek to my professor's office. Sitting down, I shared my decision with her.
I will be repeating student teaching.
AHHHH.
Frustration to the MAX. How can this happen?, I thought to myself.
But then peace. I am so proud of you. My professor said to me. Was she speaking for Someone Greater than the both of us? As I write now...I realize that...maybe?
